Alex Jones Loses Court Case, Ordered to Listen to Himself Read Poetry
Austin, TX – A Texas jury Thursday ordered conspiracy theorist Alex Jones to be forced to listen to himself read poetry for no less than one thousand hours — significantly
White House Staff Still Struggling the get Biden to Stop Referring to VP Harris as “The Help”
Washington, DC – White House staffers are still struggling to get President Biden to stop referring to Vice President Kamala Harris as “The Help.” With the crisis in the Ukraine,
Hungover IRS Agent Unsure Who He Drunk Audited Last Night
By Udo Klabunde Philadelphia, PA – When 43-year-old IRS agent Harold Dredocker woke late Sunday morning he had a thumping headache, a ringing in his ears, and the terrible feeling
Environmentalists Applaud New Sustainable Fighter Jet
By Wanda Cremo Bethesda, MD – Environmental groups are applauding efforts by the Pentagon to honor its pledge to create a more eco-friendly fighter jet. Michael Brown, director of the
Dozens dead when Carvana Vending Machine Topples in Man’s Effort to Dislodge Stuck 1987 Cadillac Brougham
Gainesville, FL –Rescue teams are working around the clock to retrieve trapped victims of a toppled Carvana vending machine. The official death toll stands at 27 with over 80 people
Doctor to Open Abortion Clinic in a Filthy Mississippi Back Alley to Fulfill Conservative Vision for America
A prominent doctor vows to open an abortion clinic in a filthy Mississippi back alley in order to comply with conservative vision for America. Dr. Singa Rassami spent the last 14 years in Encino, CA providing safe, affordable abortions to women in need. But with the recent overturning…
Minnesota Man Switches from seeing Sasquatch Evidence Everywhere to Seeing Alien Evidence Everywhere
Cooke, MN – 49-year-old drywaller Douglas “Bevo” Swanson has decided to see extra-terrestrial evidence everywhere, ending a lifetime of seeing evidence of Sasquatch everywhere. The switch has been a jarring